Last Night in Manhattan

I really do believe that people enter into our lives for a reason. It could be that they're meant to teach us something -- about ourselves, or about life. They may show us new experiences, or open our eyes to a world of new possibilities. Maybe a certain person comes around and unknowingly lifts us up when we're feeling down, or helps us along when we can't find our way. 

I feel all of these things about the crew I got to work with in NYC. Of all the job applications I sent out, and of all the places in the city I could've ended up at, I landed in an office that was full of the most welcoming, friendly, and helpful people, and I feel so fortunate that I had the chance to work with each and every one of them.

I spent too much of this year saying "goodbye" to people... I have GOT to cut that out. The decision to leave New York was even more difficult because I hated the thought of having to say goodbye to this crew. Even in just a short amount of time, they taught me so much; they listened to my struggles about living in the big city and related very closely to what I was going through. They offered advice and understanding, shared their own personal experiences, and supported me when I decided to head back to my hometown.

Thank you guys so much. You made the days at the office so much fun, and made my experience working as a New Yorker one I will always remember fondly. 

Here are some of the faces that I've been missing dearly...

Mike B.

Michael

Alex

Sue

Fred

Brad

Alisa

I can't wait to come back and visit so I can see you all again someday. 

xoxo

JMP

The Breakup

Hey, New York. 

We need to talk. 

[Takes deep breath]

When I came to you at the beginning of the year, I was looking for something different. Something challenging. A change. And when I came to you, I knew I'd be getting all of those things, and probably even much more.

Throughout our six months together, you've taught me many valuable things... about myself, about life and how to live it, about happiness and how to find it. Because of you, I was able to stand face-to-face with my weaknesses and turn them into strengths; I was able to convince myself to stop running away and to face my fears head-on, with that voice inside my head cheering me on, saying, "So what if it scares you? Do it anyway."

And you taught me how to live like a New Yorker... how to push my way onto a packed Q train during rush hour, how to hail a cab like a boss, and how to navigate my way effortlessly to that restaurant I love on 60th between 2nd and 3rd. I hung out in the West Village, read books in Central Park, fought the crowds in Grand Central, and went to shows on Broadway. I got a great job that introduced me to some fantastic friends, and at the end of the day I would venture back to my little Brooklyn fourth-floor walkup where my kitty would greet me and my roommate and I would hang around and talk about life. 

Somewhere along the way, my path crossed with a beautiful brunette who helped me see the city through different eyes, and who shared some of my favorite New York moments with me. And I would of course be remiss if I didn't mention all the amazing adventures I got to go on with my favorite short-haired blonde… We drank coffee and tried to figure out life over greasy diner breakfasts, took a few afternoon walks through peaceful and picturesque cemeteries, and enjoyed lovely city dinners coupled with many glasses of margaritas. 

But… there were things about you, New York, that got me to thinking that maybe we wouldn't be a perfect match. I made lots of sacrifices and came to several compromises in order to be with you. I traded in my large, Akron apartment for a tiny room in a dirty building with lots of stairs and no laundry room. I gave up my Mustang and quiet morning commute for the loud and densely-packed, often-delayed subway. I left a job that I did well for one that I knew nothing about, and I moved away from my family and friends to an unfamiliar and intimidating place. But that's what people have to do when they decide they want to be with you: they give up things. They make changes. But at the end of the day, I realized that maybe I wasn't willing to give up those things or make those changes anymore. 

Really for the first time in my life, I took a major risk. I left everything that was safe and comfortable, but that's what we need to do every once in a while in order to learn and allow ourselves to grow. Life would be far less interesting if we always played it safe and never took risks, and that's not how I want to live. I want to experience things, and continually challenge myself. It's never easy going beyond our comfort zone, but sometimes "easy" isn't always the best way to go about this whole living thing. Had I never come to you, it may very well have been something I'd always regret… something I'd always wonder about.

What's it like to live in New York City?

And I'd always have to answer, I don't know, I never tried it. 

But now I know.

Maybe you and I just weren't meant to be together... maybe the stars just didn't align with us this time. But I'm always going to love you. I'll always come back to visit you. And Heaven knows, because of everything you've done for me, I'm certainly never going to forget you and every magical moment we spent together. You showed me that I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be, braver than I ever knew I would be, and more resilient than I ever could've imagined. I walk more confidently now because of you... I'm a bit more proud of what I've accomplished. Now I feel like I have a better handle on what I want in life, and I believe in myself more than I think I ever have before. 

So thank you. No matter where my path takes me next, I'm going to keep you in my heart, along with everything you've taught me. I'll be thinking of you often, and how I felt when I walked your streets for the first time, filled with uncertainty, but at the same time, with great anticipation for what you had waiting for me around the next corner. I may be leaving for now, but I leave with more than I had when I came... I leave as a better version of myself.

Remembering 9/11

On this day of reflection and remembrance, we think about exactly where we were when we found out what was happening on the morning of September 11. We think about that day and what it meant -- and still means -- for our country. And we think about the lives that were lost, and about the families who still, and always will, grieve for their loved ones that died on that unforgettable day 14 years ago.

Last November, while my sister and I were visiting New York City, we spent an entire day at the National September 11 Museum, and although I can't find many words to describe what we saw there or the emotions that we felt, I wanted to share some pictures I took during our visit. It was truly one of the most moving and emotional experiences I've ever had, and I encourage anyone who hasn't been to the Memorial or the Museum to make it a point to see it someday.

The National September 11 Memorial features twin reflecting pools -- each an acre in size -- that sit in the original footprint of the Twin Towers. The Memorial's architect, Michael Arad, designed the space to represent not only the physical void left where the World Trade Center once stood, but also the emotional void experienced by the incredible loss of life that resulted from the terrorist attacks. Surrounding both the North and South Pools are the names of the nearly 3,000 people who lost their lives on that day. 

The artifact above is known as the Last Column -- it is the last column that was removed from Ground Zero, marking the end of a nine-month recovery effort. It contains graffiti, pictures, and other artifacts left by those who worked on the site. The numbers at the top indicate the number of lives lost from each of the rescue groups. There's a video telling the story of the column on the Museum's website.

Above is an art installation by artist Spencer Finch entitled Trying to Remember the Color of the Sky on That September Morning, and is made up of 2,983 watercolor squares -- one for each of the victims of the 2001 and 1993 attacks. Each letter making up the quote by the Roman poet Virgil in the center was forged from pieces of recovered steel from the World Trade Center.

Below are images of the historic "Survivors' Staircase," originally two flights of stairs and an escalator located above ground and outdoors, connecting Vesey Street to the WTC's Austin J. Tobin Plaza. The stairs were an escape route for hundreds of people fleeing the 5 World Trade Center building, which was adjacent to the Twin Towers.

***

I was a senior in high school, sitting in my morning economics class on Tuesday, September 11. Our teacher turned on the television in the classroom when our school began hearing the news about what was going on, and I remember sitting there wide-eyed as we watched in real-time as the second plane hit the South Tower. Later in the day, our school received a bomb threat; we were all evacuated and spent most of the afternoon standing around the band field, frightened and confused, wondering what in the world was happening, not just at our school, but in the rest of the country. 

I'm fortunate in that I didn't lose any family or friends on 9/11. And I still can't even begin to imagine the loss that so many people suffered as a result of that day. For anyone that was missing a loved one today, my heart is with you... The heart of a whole nation is with you. May we always remember and honor the memories of those who are no longer with us because of these tragic events, not just on this day, but always.